Over the last several weeks, Los Angeles and the world has been mourning the sudden loss of basketball legend, Kobe Bryant. Today, as I sat through his celebration of life memorial service (that was broadcasted on every channel), I felt especially somber. It is important to note that given I had never met number 24 personally, my emotions were WILD. Any stranger would have thought we were long time friends due to the grief that struck me. Hearing his family and friends speak about the drive and determination of this all-star Laker hero... it was a lot.
Suddenly, in the midst of my sob fest (somewhere in between Beyoncé singing and Michael Jordan looking like he got punched in the gut) it occurred to me how monumental a person has to be for strangers across the world to have this kind of reaction... the kind of reaction similar to the one I have been having. I then realized that the reason I felt this way was mostly because of one similar trait that I share with the black mamba... fear.
When I say that I feel fear, it's not due to the helicopter ride that killed Kobe, not the fact that his three daughters have to live a life without their father and sister, Gianna (who also passed in this horrific accident), or that a mother and wife has to go to bed every night going over her last moments with her loved ones... I say fear in a much different way. Though the list I mentioned is certainly a terrifying one, I am talking about a fear of Kobe's that he discussed numerous times and in the end led him to success beyond measure, fear of mediocracy.
For so long, I've stumbled through my life being fearful that I wasn't headed on the right path. I tried to make decisions that would benefit me, though at the time I really wasn't too sure how. There was no clear intent or vision... I just knew that whatever I was meant to do I wanted to be great at it and well prepared. It wasn't until recently that my vision has become more clear, and with a clear vision of your passion comes the expectations of what you want your life to look like. Though coming to realize all this is great, it's life changing even, with it comes (you guessed it) MORE FEAR! Fear of failing, fear of what others will think, and fear of being average in a world that only recognizes extraordinary.
When you think in the context of personal and professional success, and you envision your life thriving in that success, what do you see? Who do you see? I see a person immersed in the notion that all the tiny moments of hardship and perseverance finally paid off. I see a family and the flexibility to design my life according to the needs of that family. I see financial security and vivacious living in a way that prompts gratitude on a daily basis. Most importantly, I see a life of someone that I know I have the power to create. Though I am fearful, I would be more afraid to never know the version of myself that emerged as a result of my extraordinary efforts.
So as I wrap my head around all these thoughts, I feel invigorated and refreshed in my efforts to overcome my fear and work towards my goals. Author and life coach, Rachel Hollis puts it best "Following your passion is life or death. It is the difference between living a life you always dreamed of or sitting alongside the death of the person you were meant to become." Don't give up on your dreams, instead revel in the process with certainty that the 'what could have beens' are far more fearsome. After all, not even Kobe Bryant's legacy was based on a single moment, but rather a long collection of exemplifying moments demonstrating strength, grit, and dedication. "If you're lucky, your legacy will be a lifetime in the making".
XOXO-M
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